


Lifetime

by BabySky



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Poetry, poem, prose, whatever you want - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 00:44:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20684690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabySky/pseuds/BabySky
Summary: A summary of one's lifetime.





	Lifetime

Once you were a little girl with baby fat and chubby cheek. People tell that you were the most cutest kid in the neighborhood. I could hear you laughing in your bedroom, smashing your brother’s toy happily while munching biscuits. 

Once you were a kid with amazing imagination. You and your best friend running around the playground, claiming that you were the prince and her as princess. You saved her from the invisible villain. You run. You fall. You run again. You did not cry. You laugh.

One you were a little girl who talk too much. You heard everything. You ask everyone about everything. You tell everyone about everything. You had no secret. Teachers were scold you because you’re keep chatting in class. They told you to shut up. You obeyed, but now you started to write letters to your friends. 

You were seven. You get your first hit from your father. You wonder, what’s wrong? You just want to have fun like other kid. You didn’t have any colorful books like your friends. You just want to read more fantasy things. You want to imagine another world. You just want to smile and turning over comic pages with big laugh, imagining the prince and princess getting their happy ending. So you run. You go to that one abandoned library and stay there all day long. You found the old comics. You read that under the dim light after your parents sleep.

You were ten. You get more and more hit marks around your body. Your friends asks why and you laughed at them. You said you were hitting the table. You never hit any table. Once you run to your friend’s home, asking if they’re have any books you didn’t read before. You simply said that you were bored with books in your house. You didn’t say that your parents put those books in a box and forbid you from reading any because you didn’t do your homework. You play a lot. You go to every friend’s home every Sunday. You don’t want to stay at home. 

You were twelve. You imagine yourself studying in other city, left your home for a year and trying new life. They never sent you aboard. They told you to stay. That’s what a girl do, they say. You obeyed. You did not smile. 

You were fourteen. Voice in your heads become vivid and alive. They have faces, they have lips and body and they talk to you. You give them names. And once again, you smile. 

You were sixteen. You had insomnia. You barely sleep and never do your homework and always crying. You feel numb and always dazed. You write sad stories, angsty poems and dark pictures and blame it all to you sleepless night. You don’t understand why. You talk with the voices all night long. You feel alive. 

You were seventeen. You find peace in music and melodies. The voices faded into rusty poems and song lyrics. You making playlists based on your moods and updated it regularly. You learning new languages and meet new peoples. You smile. Your parents hate it. You still a disappointment for them because you’re spending five years in Middle school. 

You were eighteen. You discovered your depression way too late. It was there for years. You realized that you were depressed and always extremely anxious. You realized that your sleep pattern and eating schedule was messed up way too much and it not caused by moods. You just realized that there was a hole in your heart and it eats yourself silently, and you never know it. You were grow up with pain and being too comfortable with it until you realized that you could feel nothing by now. You were afraid you may gone insane. You already are. You cry a lot and trying to muffle all those scary sounds with blasting music. It does help. But you still cry. 

You were nineteen. Your hand shaking while you’re all alone in the room full of people. You were afraid to asks a stranger about your way home once you lost. You take long breaths and shaky exhales, you fidgeting with almost everything to hide your trembling hands. You draw nonsense thing and looked into your shoes in classes, you were too afraid to go outside. You ride a vehicle and couldn’t help yourself from imagining horrible accidents and bloody scenes. You think every finger was pointed to you, every eyes was looking at you, and every lips were talking about you. You say nothing. You write everything. You hide many secrets now. You hide everything. You don’t want anyone judge you. You don’t want this world against you and you were all alone. You were afraid. You were afraid of this world and everyone in it and you wish you were reborn as stone or wind or even a grass. 

  
  


Once the little cute kid with chubby cheeks appears in your dream. You did not recognize her and her laugh. 

“Do you miss me?” she ask. You frowned. 

“Who you?” you asked. You don’t know her. You don’t know her. You forget her.

  
  


Or, you forget how to smile like her. 

**Author's Note:**

> I just feel not right and decided to pour my emotions into words.


End file.
